Your best friend recently admitted that they and their partner had their first threesome and tried a little bondage and role-playing. And they LOVED it! And now you find yourself fantasizing throughout the day about scenarios that would have made you blush just a year ago.
Could you be… kinky?
The truth is, one out of five adults in this country is regularly turning to kink to spice things up in the bedroom. In fact, according to the 2015 Sexual Exploration in America Study, more than 20% of sexually active adults engage in role-playing, while more than 20% have engaged in being tied up and spanking.
And that’s not even the most surprising data. Another survey found that out of 1,040 respondents, nearly half were interested in exploring kink, though they hadn’t yet taken the leap. And when you throw in the fact that a growing body of research suggests getting playful in the bedroom can be very beneficial to your overall health and relationships, it makes it all that more exciting to give kink a try.
I’m Ready to Get Started. Now What?
Well that didn’t take much convincing!
Now it’s time to become familiar with what kink is and how to explore it safely.
So… what is kink, exactly?
Kink is an umbrella term that describes any sexual practice that typically falls out of convention. There are a few categories that commonly fall under kink:
BDSM – Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.
Fantasy and role-playing – Grab a costume and dust off your imagination!
Fetishes – Common fetishes include diaper play, leather or rubber and feet.
Group sex – Orgies, threesome, and sex parties, oh my!
Voyeurism or exhibitionism – Does the thought of having sex in public or watching other people have sex turn you on?
Now that you know what potentially your kinks are, here are some tips for getting started on your kink journey:
Just Say No to Shame
Most of us have grown up in a society that didn’t support the idea that, “If it feels good, do it.” So it can feel… weird and even shameful to pursue interests that have traditionally been perceived as “sexually deviant.” It’s important to understand that kink is far more “normal” than you may have originally been led to believe and there is no reason to feel shame or guilt.
Do Your Research
Exploring new ways to express yourself sexually can be incredibly exciting. But you will also want to know exactly how your newest pursuits will affect your mind, heart, body and relationship. This is particular true if you are interested in BDSM, which requires becoming comfortable with vulnerability.
Find a Kink Community
You’ll definitely want to find new friends and potential partners who share your interests in your local community. The best way to do this is to attend what is called a “munch.” This is a casual gathering for people interested in kink and BDSM. Look at the kink section of Eventbrite to find a group near you.
There’s a whole new world of kink for you to explore. If you educate yourself, confront any feelings of shame or guilt, and find like-minded people to connect with, you’ll soon be the one sharing your latest exploits with your friends!
