Sex is a big part of life. Sex sells. Sex is everywhere. From the time we hit puberty until the time we take our last breath, sex is on our mind a LOT!
But what do we really understand about sex? Not the mechanics of it, but the WHY of it. What makes us want to have sex?
The truth is, there are myriad reasons we want to have sex with someone: to feel emotional intimacy, to express love, because of lustful attraction, or to simply experience some physical pleasure ourselves. These are positive motivations for wanting to have sex.
But not all motivations for sex are positive. There are also what are called “avoidance” motivations. These usually refer to a desire to stop or prevent something. So for example, a person may decide to have sex with their partner to STOP them from having an affair or leaving the relationship.
Basson’s Sexual Response
Sex is far more complex than we think. Dr. Rosemary Basson has studied human sexuality for years and concluded that sexuality is nonlinear. Her work acknowledges that human desire can be both responsive and spontaneous. Her work also points to the fact that human beings are aroused by various stimuli and we all have a wide range of motivations for desiring sex.
What is Sexual Dysfunction?
Sexual dysfunction occurs in both men and women and can present itself in different ways. Some people find they have no libido, or no desire to have sex. Other people may have the initial desire, but cannot physically get aroused for the actual sex act. Still, others have difficulty achieving orgasm.
Sexual dysfunction occurs because of a variety of reasons. There may be physical pain involved with sexual intercourse or a chronic condition such as diabetes or hormonal imbalances that affect how the body reacts to sexual stimulation.
There are also psychological causes such as stress, depression and anxiety, feelings of shame and low self-worth that may cause a person to have no sexual desire.
If you are suffering from sexual dysfunction and would like to speak to a therapist, please be in touch with me. A healthy sex life is necessary for our overall well-being.