At Inclusive Therapy Group, we know that jealousy is neither a defect nor an indicator of immaturity. This feeling must be recognized for what it is—an emotion—and approached with compassion, curiosity, and openness. Rather than trying to suppress it, consensual non-monogamous individuals have an opportunity to approach their feelings of jealousy in a much more thoughtful way with proper support.
The first technique that might be used to manage jealousy in a consensual non-monogamous environment is intentional, non-judgmental communication. Expressing feelings of jealousy to one's partner in a healthy manner is crucial. Saying "You made me feel…" instead of "I notice that I'm feeling…" allows shifting away from blame and into a deeper understanding of the situation.
It is important to set aside some time regularly to conduct relationship check-ins and align on priorities. It is also important to practice active listening and try to validate one's partner.
Another step that should be taken when dealing with jealousy in a consensual non-monogamous relationship is digging deeper to understand its roots. In the vast majority of cases, these roots are deep-seated fears of being left alone, emotional or physical abuse, and many other things. A therapist may facilitate uncovering those emotions and working through them.
It is also important to develop compersion—the ability to feel happy that someone you love feels great. Even though it may take time and effort, with professional guidance it can become easier over time.
Defining flexible yet clear boundaries and making agreements based on these boundaries helps avoid jealousy by reducing uncertainty and increasing trust.
Finally, taking good care of one's mental health and autonomy, and staying focused on self-connection, will help reduce dependence and jealousy.
Call to Action:
We invite you to connect with Inclusive Therapy Group to work on your polyamorous relationships and address challenges that may arise in consensual non-monogamy. Our team of experienced, affirming therapists is here to support you. Contact us today to get started.Book a Consultation today.
