The holiday season can be a time of beauty, celebration, joy, and connection. However, for many queer and gay people, it is also fraught with unique challenges. From family dynamics to societal pressures, the holidays are often complicated by feelings of isolation, anxiety, or rejection. As someone within the LGBTQ+ community, it's important to approach this time of year with self-compassion, boundaries, and strategies that prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.
Here are some tips to help survive and even thrive this holiday season:
Set Boundaries
The holidays often mean spending time with family, and for many of us, that can bring up complicated emotions. Whether it's the fear of rejection, uncomfortable questions about your identity, or being subjected to microaggressions, setting boundaries is crucial. Before you attend any gatherings, take some time to consider what boundaries will help you feel safe. That might mean limited time with certain relatives, avoidance of conversations about your personal life, or stepping away when a conversation starts to turn negative. It's okay to say no, and it's okay to protect yourself from spaces that don't feel affirming.
Create Chosen Family Connections
To a lot of queer and gay people, chosen family is what matters most. If you cannot feel comfortable with your blood family, lean on the chosen one instead. They are your friends, mentors, and peers, showing support in ways the biological families usually can't. Whether it's hosting your own holiday gathering or reaching out for emotional support, being surrounded by chosen family can provide feelings of love, belonging, and community.
Practice Self-Care
The holidays can be exhausting-both emotionally and physically. For many of us in the queer community, societal expectations, family tension, or even lack of acceptance might be overwhelming. Make self-care a priority. This may mean blocking out time for quiet contemplation, engaging in hobbies that bring you joy, or simply saying no to events that feel overwhelming. Take breaks when needed, whether it's a walk in nature, a cozy evening with your favorite TV show, or even a spa day. Taking care of yourself allows you to recharge and approach the season with a more balanced mindset.
Find Affirming Spaces
Seek out affirming spaces, or at least find an LGBTQ+ organization to connect with if these events don't feel affirming. Many cities offer queer-inclusive events, parties, or other gatherings around the holidays that are safe and welcoming to celebrate. Online communities are where a sense of solidarity can exist when in-person events aren't options. It serves to make a person be felt, appreciated, and supported when feelings of isolation develop during this time of year.
Focus on What You Can Control
It can be very easy to get overwhelmed when so many different demands are placed upon you, between gifting, family function attendance, cultural pressures, to name just a few. You don't have to engage in all traditions, and you absolutely do not have to be sure that your holidays look just like everyone else's version of what the holidays "should" be. Focus on your needs and what makes you feel comfortable and full. It is more than OK to create your own traditions-particularly if they are in alignment with your values and sense of self.
Reach Out for Support
If the holidays are particularly challenging this year, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support. Talking to a therapist, counselor, or support group can help you process your feelings and develop strategies to cope with difficult situations. Many therapists specialize in LGBTQ+ issues and can provide valuable tools to navigate the holidays with a clearer, healthier mindset.
Final Thoughts
While the holidays may not always be easy for queer and gay individuals, it's important to remember that you are not alone. You can set boundaries, create chosen family connections, and practice self-care to navigate the season in a way that feels authentic and empowering. This holiday season, allow yourself the grace and space to celebrate in a way that aligns with your true self.
Whether it is time with loved ones, participation in chosen family traditions, or simple rest and restoration, let the peace, love, and joy that this season and any season bring be yours to own.
https://inclusivetherapygroup.com/blog/how-to-survive-the-holidays-this-season
