Jealousy. One of those topics no one necessarily wants to talk about, but keeps cropping up—and most especially when it involves polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationships. And here's the truth: jealousy is not failure. It is a feeling, not a criticism.
At Inclusive Therapy Group, we are working with individuals and couples living the ups and downs of polyamorous life. Among all the questions that are asked, one of the most common ones is, "Why do I feel this way if I'm a polyamory believer?" The response: Because you're human.
Finding the Deeper Feelings Behind Jealousy
Jealousy typically masks other feelings of fear, insecurity, or disconnection. Jealousy can be a sign that:
Your needs are not being communicated or met clearly
You're experiencing comparison or low self-esteem
You're needing reassurance, attention, or quality time
You're healing from past abandonment or trauma
In monogamy society, jealousy is typically framed as a badge of love—but in polyamory, it may be a signal for reflection, communication, and growth.
Practical Strategies for Working with Jealousy
Call it by its name, without shame. "I feel jealous" is the beginning of healing, not the termination of connection.
Become curious, rather than critical. Ask, "What is this feeling trying to communicate?"
Practice compersion. Find joy in your partner's happiness—it does not subtract from your own.
Establish conscious rituals. Make time for reassurance, love languages, and regular connection.
Talk to a poly-aware therapist. All therapists are not created equal—find ones who know about ENM dynamics without prejudice.
You're Not Alone-And You Don't Have to Firgure It Out Alone
At Inclusive Therapy Group, we know that polyamory is not just a relationship style—it’s a journey of self-awareness, communication, and community. Whether you're new to ethical non-monogamy or have years of experience, our therapists are here to support you through the growing pains and the breakthroughs.
If jealousy is showing up in your relationships and you’re ready to work through it with care and curiosity, we’re here for you.
https://inclusivetherapygroup.com/blog/understanding-jealousy
